I can't handle this anymore, god damn it. This whole idea of spending yet another 8months in the god damn island just doesn't work for me...fuck...gosh I hate this...
Ok, I've been trying to do whatever I could possibly think of, just for the sakes of getting used to this kind of life. Well guess what, nothing seems to work. Just to think about how I'd need to spend half of next year, from Jan to June, doing basically the same thing (which is nothing) as what I've been doing for the past 6 months, would terrify me. I can't believe how I've survived all these shits for nearly 6 months...gosh would it be possible to do the same thing all over again? 34 more weeks out of 57...crap....this hasn't even been half of it...
So this is weekend, and guess what, I'm right here at home, just like any other day sitting right in front of my laptop doing nothing. What a fucking pathetic life....it's not like I'm not trying to go out or something. I do people...I really do, just this afternoon after my Spanish class I did go to malls....[note the plural form]....but after 4.5 yrs in sg you just can't expect much to get to see new stuffs.....you'll just see whatever you've been constantly seeing for nearly all the time you've spent in the god damn island....
Be it weekdays or weekend, I just can't find any interesting thing to do...which is why I have always loved this minuscule island, by no means....
I don't know where else to go, what else to see, or who else to screw...thinking about going out to other city? hell you gotta be kidding me...this island is literally surrounded by seas...so unless you wanna end up committing suicide in the South China Sea or whatever it's called, you'd basically do the same thing with me.
Suddenly all those years of my mugging look better, I at least had something to do and to bitch about, rather than having so many weekends, regularly, not knowing what to do.....2 language courses don't do me any good for God's sakes.
so yesterday I went to this world student day and well, that'd be my Alpha and Omega for such a thing....I'm just tryin' to be honest and yeah, it wasn't really my thing, I was just not into it....praying for countries I haven't even been to, for people I don't even know; I just don't buy it. Some of them may indeed live a happier life than this pathetic one I've been drowning in. Even worse most of the speaker turned out to be....singaporeans....oh yeah how great!! With all those singlish accents I've been trying to avoid from hearing for more than a year, it really felt like going back to my 2nd or 3rd year of uni life when I had to listen to those super silly and disgusting words and accents from lecturers as well as classmates (I don't consider them as "friends", btw), before I finally decided not to have any unnecessary contact with those people anymore
anw...this lady I've been working with is soon gonna deliver her baby....oh please do it asap....I just need a break....and I guess she does too....it'll prolly be gr8 for both of us if she just takes a longer leave....
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